Blast you "Gotcha Day" Videos!

There is a phenomenon in the adoption world called "Gotcha Day." I was unfamiliar with this term before we started on this journey, but now I am a little too familiar with it for only having submitted our final paperwork. "Gotcha Day" is the day that the adoptive parents finally get to hold and take their adopted kids into their custody for the first time. Usually the parents will still need to go to court in country and fly back home, but it is the day that those kids you have been hoping, dreaming and praying for are finally in your arms.

I have started watching videos about this day on YouTube and it is not a good thing.

Watching these joyful videos brings tears to by eyes, because we aren't there yet.

We still have to wait, and wait, and wait. There is no end in sight for the wait.

Our "Gotcha Day" is still months and months and months away. We have no timeline.

And even though it is a joyful time for other families, it brings agony to my heart and so I've decided not to watch them for awhile. They completely zap by productivity as I slump into self-pity. But that doesn't mean you can't watch them!


Here are two videos from families that have used the same adoption agency we are using. My hope is that you will be inspired to help orphans, the way these videos have inspired me. It might not seem like much to help the orphan crisis to adopt one, but it really does.

 There are 147 million orphans in the world today. 

Every family that says yes to one or two or three children joining their family means that there are one or two or three less orphans. That can add up quickly if we all do our part. Enjoy and be inspired!

The space after a show

After the curtain falls, the last clap dissipates into the auditorium and the lights fade to black, there is a space for audience members. The space between the world you lived with the actors on the stage and the reality of your life. This space is often hurried through while bags are gathered, programs are thrown away and bathrooms are sought out. But this is a hallowed space. A place of vulnerability and raw emotion. If you, the audience have bought into the illusion of the stage and have indulged in the lives of the actors, then the moments after the illusion ends should not be hurried through, because they holds secrets.  

Secrets about your own heart. 

Your own thoughts. 

Your own reality.  

There is a mystic reality to this space that one has trouble describing unless you have found yourself there and allowed the solicitude and vulnerability of that moment to shape you into something more.

_________________________________________________

This weekend I had the chance to find myself as I went to see two different shows. 

The first chance to experience this was after seeing the final dress rehearsal of Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" at Lakeland Community Theatre.  There is one more weekend of this wonderful classic comedy, and you shouldn't miss it. Tickets are only $20, which is a steal to see quality theatre. Purchase tickets here. My good friend, Nathan Pearce played Felix Unger and it was a treat to see him perform again in this wonderfully comedic piece. The characters, humor and physical comedy were all present as they performed for their first audience. My friend, Shelly Fountain was also in the show as one of the Pigeon sisters and the cute British accent and neon jump suit left me all smiles. If you enjoyed the movie by the same name starring Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau from 1968, you won't want to miss the chance to see the original script the movie was based on next weekend right here in Lakeland.

After I hooted and hollered for my friends, the time of reflection came. After a comedy, the space takes a lighter form. It makes me want to laugh and hug the ones I love as I celebrate life and the fullness of friendship and family. It is very easy after seeing a comedy to jump straight from the show to the real world without reflecting on what I felt during the performance. The depth of human emotion is often not dealt with in a comedy because the purpose is entertainment. And I must confess, that I did not take time to soul-search after the curtains fell. Instead, I hurried to greet the cast and congratulate them on a great performance, while wishing them well on their opening weekend. It was an opportunity missed to reflect on the themes of friendship, annoyance, perseverance and balance and I forgot to take it as I stood from my chair and left the theatre doors behind.


Missing my first chance on Thursday, I was not going to miss the opportunity Sunday when I went to see a production of "Bare: A Pop Opera" put on my MAD Theatre. The show is being preformed at the The Straz's Shimberg Playhouse and is also performing another weekend. Tickets can be purchased here.

My friends Jen Marshal directed and Philip King music directed, which was my pull for seeing it. I was unfamiliar with the piece, but knew what the basic premise was after a conversation during the rehearsal process with Jen. Going into the little black box theatre, I knew that I was in for an emotional ride. The performances of this talented group were spectacular. Each lead, supporting and ensemble member portrayed their characters with accuracy and honesty, which was refreshing in this small theatre.There were a few laughs along the way, but my heart was wrenched as the various high school seniors struggled with their identity. They brought me into their world as an audience member and by the end of the show, I had run the gamete of emotions with all of the cast.

I said my congrats on a fabulous show to Jen and Phil, and then took time to reflect in my car. Riding in silence for an hour is not a habit of mine, but it was needed to process all of the ideas and feeling I had been exposed to during the show. The show literally brought me to another time and place where I struggled with my own identity as a young lady, and I hadn't been there in over twelve years.

Sharing what I felt and dealt with after the show with all of you would be too intimate. The other thing about the space after the show that I haven't shared with you is that it is deeply personal, if you let it. Just as reading a fantastic book or listening to a stirring piece of music can move you in an indescribable way, a wonderful piece of theatre can do the same. And "Bare: A Pop Opera" did just that this weekend. Please take time to see this show next weekend. You won't have the same experience as me, but I know that the cast will move you in a way you don't expect them to.


And my hope is that you take time in the space after the show to find yourself and leave knowing more of who you are. That is what good theatre is all about.

{FAQ's about Show Reviews}

Impulsive Chunky Bangs

I tend to be a little impulsive. As I've gotten older and my husband, Craig has rubbed off on me, I am less impulsive. It is a good thing because at times I rushed head first into some horrible decisions. And at times, my fearless go-get-'em attitude is helpful to accomplish a lot.

Well, today I got impulsive. And I declined to listen to the little voice inside telling me to wait. To find a hair dresser. To look at pictures with my shape face. Instead of listening to wisdom, I chopped off my hair and gave myself chunky bangs.

So, there you have it! Whether I like it or not or if it is the most flattering style to my face, I now have chunky bangs for the next couple of months. 

Bring on the next impulsive thing!!!

The Big News

And the moment you all have been waiting for. Drum roll, please!

ALL OF OUR PAPERWORK IS DONE!!!!

Yep! You read that correctly! We have been doing paperwork since January, and now this four months of paper shuffling has come to an end. For now... I know there will be more paperwork along the way (custody papers, court hearing documents, visas, etc.), but all of the paperwork that we have been assigned by our adoption agency is completed. Which means,

WE SENT OUR DOSSIER TO UGANDA!!!!!

This evening, after dinner, we headed to the FedEx store to mail our huge pile of papers to our lawyer in Uganda. It was so nerve wracking! I wanted to make sure everything was perfect as I checked, double checked, triple checked every document. This is not a cheap FedEx mailing. No, siree! This is not something you want to re-do because the cost is pretty pricey. I was shaking a little as I sealed the envelope. The FedEx lady double and triple checked the address I wrote down and even looked up to see if the address was written down correctly in the computer as well as a guide book for sending things around the world. Wow! She was thorough and I appreciated it! We do NOT want all of this personal information falling into the wrong hands. Our entire life is contained in that little packet and we wanted to make sure it made it to the intended destination.

The kids waiting while I checked everything a million times.

Trying hard to wait while I finished everything up

Pretending to sleep while I finished up the paperwork

For some of you, this might not have been the news you were hoping for. I'm sure some of you were hoping that we finally knew who our kids were or had pictures of the little boy and little girl who would join our family later this year. I so wish I could have shared that news with you today, but that day will be coming soon!

So what does sending our dossier to Uganda mean? It means that now we wait. The next time I write we have big news, it means we WILL have a referral and we WILL have pictures of our beautiful children! All of this paperwork makes the next (way more exciting big news) possible. Sending off our dossier means that we can do nothing more to "make" our adoption happen. Now we have to wait and wait and wait some more. We are at the mercy of everyone else now to see who our kids are, when we have a court date in Uganda and when we will fly to go and meet our new kids. I'm told this next part is the hardest part of the process.

What can you do to help?

I'm so glad you asked! Adoption has been a strange process, with a lot of ups and downs. And a lot of loneliness. I appreciate the friends who do ask about our adoption, but it is a very lonely road. Sometimes I want to tattoo my forehead to say,

"I'm adopting and I am dying 

to talk about it. Please ask me!"

So here is how you can help our family during this next phase of waiting: 

-Ask us about the adoption! We want to share all the gooey details. Just like a preggo mom wants to talk about the fact that she can't stop peeing or she is short of breath or her morning sickness has not left for seven months, we are dying to talk about what happens next and what our traveling will be like and how long we will be gone. Just ask us. We'll talk your ear off and love you for it!

-Pray for us! There are still a lot of unknowns and variables on the journey. Please pray that we are constantly drawing our strength from Christ and drawing closer to one another in this process. Pray that Asher and Aleathea's hearts will be opened for two more siblings. And pray for the two across the world, that they are safe.

-Buy a t-shirt!  Here is what we have left, and this is it. Please make my dream come true and buy us out of t-shirts! (V-Necks $20- 2 small, 4 medium, 2 large/ Crew Neck $18- 1 medium, 4 large/ Youth $12- 1 medium)

-Make us a freezer meal! We have a deep freezer and we know that this first couple of months back from Uganda are going to be stressful. Think having twins with two kids already in the house. It would be a huge blessing to have meals already made for that stressful time back. We eat everything!

-Donate your frequent flyer miles! We will be flying to Uganda later this year, and you can make it more affordable by donating your frequent flyer miles to us. That would be a huge blessing to cut down the cost of our travel expenses!

-Share our adoption story with your circle! You might not have the resources to help us financially, but maybe some of your friends and family do. By sharing my blog and story with those in your world, you are expanding the potential of people who will give as well as support us through prayer. And we can NEVER have enough prayer!

-Donate to us! We still need $24,000. If we don't have the money, we can't fly to get the kids. It's as simple as that. We will roll out some more fundraisers, and we look forward to see how God will use those close to us to help us raise the rest of the money. If you would like to know what specific about what we are paying for, we are happy to share with you.

After submitting our paperwork, we headed to Chick-fil-a for a celebration ice cream! If felt like such a weight was lifted off of my shoulders and we could just relax and wait.

Paper-Pregnant Progress

Try saying that 10 times fast!

Biggest news: our homestudy is complete!!!

All of this paperwork we have talked about is almost done, which brings us one step closer to actually flying to Uganda to get our kiddos. Every step closer is exciting and a triumph for us. It can be tedious at times and it has made us frustrated with our choice in bank and mortgage company as we fought for simple papers, but all of it is worth it. Even though I haven't seen their faces, those kids are mine as much as Asher and Alethea, and I would do anything for them. Even miles and miles of paperwork.

We are being intentionally silly about being "paper-pregnant" and have been taking belly pics as the paper stack grew. We know, some people are probably rolling their eyes, but we wanted a tangible way to show our progress. With our home-grown kids, we took a picture every single week of  each pregnancy. With our heart-grown kids, we have taken a picture with each packet of papers we have sent off. For us, it helps to remind us that we are getting closer to being a family of 6. And whenever I put together the book about how our new kids became a part of the family, it will include these goofy pictures of my "paper-pregnant belly."

 

I have 56 slaves working for me.

I really had no idea that I actually employed slaves until a couple of days ago.

Sure, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that what I purchased made a difference. Didn't I stop buying things at Wal-Mart to make a statement about how I wanted people to be treated? While raising money for Invisible Children back in 2006, I started looking into fair trade items, but didn't make the switch because it seemed inconvenient. I didn't really understand why it was so important, so it never stuck.

A friend from college, Kelly just wrote a blog post that linked me to an interesting site. By simply answering a couple of questions about items in your home you can see how many slaves are working to sustain the lifestyle you created. As an organic, green family, I thought there was no way we had that many slaves working for us. We don't own a television, don't use cosmetics or conventional bath products, and don't own that many clothes. Well, I was wrong. I wanted to change my answers to make my number lower, but that wouldn't change the reality that I have purchased items that are made by people who have been forced to do so.

Stomach drops.

Can't breathe.

Must act.

Discovering that number was like a punch to the gut. Could I purchase Easter eggs for my kids this Sunday, knowing that the chocolate used in them was picked by children my own kids ages who were taken from their parents and forced to do so? Could I pick up a cute, modest skirt for my upcoming trip to Uganda, knowing that the cotton used to make them was picked against someone's will? Could I drive through Starbucks and pick-up a treat of a tall caramel frappacino, knowing that the coffee beans used to make my drink were picked by a slave? I just can't do it anymore. I've been in a depressed, sluggish state the last couple of days wrestling with this reality.

I don't have a lot of answers yet, but I wanted to share this discovery because it has been eating away at me. Have you found out how many slaves are working for you? Take the evaluation here. Please do. As Christine Cain said,

"It is easy to ignore a number when it is nameless and faceless."

Find your number and give it a name. Only then will we change the world.

Baby Wearing Practice

In preparation for having four children under four this summer (hopefully!), I went to a babywearing class sponsored by the local La Leche League chapter. It was fantastic to try on lots of different wraps, mei tais and slings, and of course I got to connect with lots of friends and meet new ones as well. What could be better?

We already owned a baby sling made by Li'l Peeper Keepers. If you are looking for a quality sling made by a sweet momma, check out her Etsy shop and purchase one. She even includes an instructional DVD with all the different ways you can use your sling from newborn to toddler with every purchase. You can't beat that! We've had this sling for almost two years and really love it. But we knew we needed more options.

Asher, 3 1/2 in the FreeHand Mei Tai

At the babywearing meet-up, I purchased a used mei tai by Freehand. I really enjoyed using it this weekend as we explored Lakeland Farmers Market. Alethea loved being on my back and the opportunity to snuggle. And so, I decided to try to wear two kids at the same time after we got back from the market, using both the ring sling and the mei tai.

Asher, 3 1/2 and Alethea, 2 worn at the same time.

Let me tell you, wearing almost 60 pounds of extra weight was pretty grueling. The kids didn't mind being there and their legs weren't touching each others, which could have led to a kicking war with me in the middle. I only wore them for a couple of minutes and I already felt like my arms were going numb. Maybe I wore them incorrectly...

But this will be a good option for us in the upcoming months as we work on attachment, bonding and adjusting to extra kids in the house. I don't plan on wearing two big kids at once, but we still don't know what age kids we will be matched with. This tandem babywearing will be an adventure and I will be sure to keep you posted!

Have any tandem wearing tips? I'd love to hear them!