13.10.11

A sordid past



There was a time in my life that I didn't have this joy. 
  That life was bleak. 
   That I was depressed. 
    That my life had a different outcome. 


I don't often share this part of my life, because it is embarrassing. 
  Because it makes me look bad. 
   Because the truth in my folly is too apparent.
    Because I would rather have everyone know me as I am now.



But the time has come to share.
  There was a time when I stopped eating, to gain control.
    There was a time when I tried to end my life.
      There was a time that the love of another was my only desire.




And I cursed God.




That is not the end of my story, but only the darkest spot.
   Thankfully, my parents brought be back to life.
    Thankfully, God did not curse me back.
     Thankfully, I am not the sum of my mistakes.


I am a new creation in Christ!
   Joy has replaced depression.
    Contentment is replacing uncontrolled desire.
     Humility is replacing pride.


I am a work in progress.
   I promise to never return to the way I was.
    I promise to never forget who I am without Christ.
     I promise to share my past, so others can find this joy.

3 comments:

Nicole Lively, LCSW said...

What courage you showed in sharing your story. I can appreciate your vulnerability. I know we don't know each other well, but I want you to know I truly enjoy your writings, photography and transparency about life. Blessings to you, Karissa.

Cameron said...

Karissa - you are so anointed. I'm thankful for our paths crossing at one point in our lives so that God can use you to bless me...(yepppp ALLLL about me ;o) ...and so many others.

Jennifer said...

You are an amazing woman. I am blessed to know you and have you in my life. God's grace is always more than enough and your story is proof of that.