Picking up old men on the side of the road

After dropping off some borrowed items at a friend's house, little droplets of water started to pelt my windshield. I turned on the wipers and noticed an elderly gentleman hurry to find cover under a tree at the intersection. The clouds were ominous, threatening their usual Florida summer storm. I looked in my side view mirror to see what this gentleman's course of action was going to be with the looming downpour inching closer and closer. He had none, so I threw my car in reverse, rolled down my window and asked if I could give him a ride. His hesitation was palpable, but I looked pretty harmless and the rain was coming down hard, so with some cajoling, he got in the car.

Let me say now, that I am not in the habit of picking up strangers. And when I am alone, I am even less prone to stop and help a man I don't know, thanks to all of my health and safety classes from middle school. As a woman in today's society, it is a big no-no to allow an unknown figure into your vehicle, regardless of the time of day or the location that you found them. Knowing all of these things and weighing them all, I knew I had to give him a ride. There was a check in my spirit that I couldn't shake, so I said yes.

Long story, but I was able to get in contact with his daughter through a wonderful thing called Google and get him back to where he belonged. He was lost, not entirely sure where he lived or where he was going, but he was so grateful that I had insisted he get into my car. And his daughter was also grateful and confused as to why a stranger would help her father.

What struck me the most about the whole experience was this 84 year old's comment right before his daughter came to pick him up.

He said, 

"There aren't many people like you left anymore."

I want to change that. 

Can I challenge you to stop this week and look around to see who might need an act of kindness? You never know how your little gesture of love, in the name of Jesus, can make an impact in the lives of others. I didn't invite him in to my car to receive accolades or for a good blog post or anything like that. I saw a man who needed God's love, and my little car, shelter from the rain is the way I could show that for 30 minutes. And it brightened my day to love someone else the way God loves me: with no conditions. 

Show others that love this week. Let's make more people remark about how un-like everyone else we are. Isn't that our purpose?

A sordid past

There was a time in my life that I didn't have this joy. 

  That life was bleak. 

   That I was depressed. 

    That my life had a different outcome. 

I don't often share this part of my life, because it is embarrassing. 
  Because it makes me look bad. 
   Because the truth in my folly is too apparent.
    Because I would rather have everyone know me as I am now.

But the time has come to share.
  There was a time when I stopped eating, to gain control.
    There was a time when I tried to end my life.
      There was a time that the love of another was my only desire.

And I cursed God.

That is not the end of my story, but only the darkest spot.
   Thankfully, my parents brought be back to life.
    Thankfully, God did not curse me back.
     Thankfully, I am not the sum of my mistakes.


I am a new creation in Christ!
   Joy has replaced depression.
    Contentment is replacing uncontrolled desire.
     Humility is replacing pride.

I am a work in progress.
   I promise to never return to the way I was.
    I promise to never forget who I am without Christ.
     I promise to share my past, so others can find this joy.

Downsizing Our Home?

We have been inspired to live simply. From reading One Thousand Gifts and The Reason for God to watching Fran's Chan sermons online, our hearts have been spurred to change. Everywhere we look, we see opportunities to help, assist, sacrifice for the good of others, but we find it hard to fit that into our middle class lives. For years we have developed a typical American life: successful careers, 2 kids, 3 bed/2 bath house with privacy fence and 2 car garage, vacations with family over the holidays, eating out once or twice a week, on and on we go. That isn't a bad thing, but for us, our comfort trumped our obedience to God.

The time has come to change.

I read this article from Thriving Family magazine just last week and I wept as my eyes took in the words. Francis Chan and his family have downgraded their home to give their extra money to those who truly need it after Francis witnessed first had the poverty and depravity in Uganda. Many have questioned this decision, wondering how this sacrifice could be beneficial for their four children, but the Chans have not wavered in their decision to live simply for the purpose of serving others. The section of the article that struck me the most was what their 14 year old daughter said about a difficult time for them when a single mother who only spoke Spanish and her four children came to live at her family's house:

Rachel looks back on their time with the homeless family as an important season of growth. "The reason it was so hard at first was due to the fact that I was not putting them before myself," she says. "It was an issue for me to understand that the world does not revolve around me. This is not my home. My treasure is in heaven, and my home is with Christ."

Such an attitude leaves Francis and Lisa in awe of what God has done in their children's hearts. In downsizing their life, they now see that they've lost nothing of real value — and have gained a treasure of eternal worth. 

 Does that not just touch your heart? I want my children to grow up and know that this is not their home. This life is only temporary, a fleeting moment, a dim reflection in the mirror. How can they learn this from me if I am digging my nails deeply trying to grip the sand of this life as it slips through my fingers? If the disappoints of this life make me yell and scream and kick my feet in protest, how do these reaction send the message that this life is temporal?

We are inspired and motivated to change.

Just the other day I said to Craig, "If we are going to have or adopt more kids, we are going to need a bigger house." Wait. Do we need another house, or would it be more comfortable to have a bigger house? Craig's gentle reminder put the perspective back where it needed to be. As Americans, we are blessed more then we can fathom. My daily complaints are over luxuries that the majority of the world has never experienced: driving, air conditioning, purchasing new things, healthy children, wardrobe options. Most of the world worries about life altering dilemmas: clean water, typhoid, child soldiers, human trafficking, poor nutrition. How shortsighted I become when I choose to ignore the daily ongoing needs of those around me and around the world. How blinded I am when I think, "I don't have the resources to help them." Don't I serve a big God? Isn't he capable of anything?

Change is the only option. 

Craig is a teacher. I am a photographer. We have 2 preschoolers, a mortgage and student loan payments. We have great reasons not to serve, not to reach out, not to give of ourselves. But that isn't an option for us anymore. As Christians, we are called to help the orphans and widows. We are commissioned to share this hope we have in Christ with others. We can no longer continue on this path of self preservation, knowing that others need us to respond. We aren't going to be as drastic as the Chan family by downsizing our home, but we are making changes. I'll write about those another time, but for now the biggest change is our outlook on life. We are truly rich in every way, and it is time that the wealthy give to the poor.


UPDATE
 After writing this post, a friend shared this project with me and I think it is a fitting addition to this post. This is a picture project of by Peter Menzel that captures families and all of their possessions. It really gives a perspective about how much we own as Americans. Take a look by clicking here.

I have written a post about one way we are going to implement these changes. Read it by clicking here. 

Dilemma with Church

We are having a dilemma with church. The name of the dilemma is Asher and Alethea.

Alethea is almost 21 months and is still having major separation anxiety. She won't go in the nursery without major tears. We always tell the nursery workers that she will cry, but that she should be fine in a couple of minutes. If only that were true. Halfway through the singing, the nursery workers came to tell us that she was still crying and very worked up. We thought that maybe we could bring her into the service and quietly sit with her, but as she looked through the storybook Bible we brought, she kept shouting "sun, sun!" every time she saw a picture of the sun, moon or fire. There is a lot of all three in the Bible, in case you didn't know. I was a little shocked myself to see a picture of one of these three items on just about every page. There was the only educational thing I learned from service today.

Asher is three years old and too old to be in the nursery. Our church does have children's church for ages three to six, but we feel like that is too big of a developmental gap. The kids are expected to sit still for long periods of time in children's church, which defeats the purpose of having a separate service for them. For now, we have decided to try to have Asher in the service with us. We feel that it is good for him to learn proper behavior in an adult setting at a young age. He loves the singing and has a good relationship with our pastor, making it comfortable for him to sit and listen. Today we brought an activity bag for him of Bible coloring pages, flash cards, a toy car and his storybook Bible. He was doing pretty well, but then his sister came into the service with us and it was impossible to manage both of them. We just left.

As we exited the doors, we felt defeated. We hadn't even made it to the pastor's sermon. How can you teach your children to sit quietly when there isn't an environment for them to practice just that? How can we be spiritually encouraged if our children don't fit into the places carved out for them during the Sunday service? What is the purpose in going if we are spending all of our time wrangling the children? Both Craig and I felt exhausted and drained after our morning at church. I now understand why many families with young children will take a season away from church. It was downright stressful!

We don't want to stop going, because we want to continue to teach the kids that this is a part of our lives. It is good for Alethea to have time away from us and it is healthy for Asher to learn to sit quietly and behave himself in an adult setting. We want to try to have fellowship with others in our congregation and gain encouragement from the Sunday sermon. I am just having a hard time figuring out how this all works in this season of life.

Are there any suggestions out there?

Honesty from a mom

I have a hard time with being a mom… sometimes. I know, I know. It is my “calling.” My identity is supposed to be wrapped up in the little onesies and board books and toy dinosaurs.  But it isn’t.  Don’t misunderstand me! I love my children and I love being a mother, but sometimes my perspective gets skewed by the daily grind of folding clothes and washing dishes. I take my eyes off of the eternal perspective for one minute and I am blinded by the minuscule stuff that I am wading knee deep through.

My heart longs to visit other lands with my camera in hand and capture exotic places. My arms desire to hold little sick babies abandoned at the hospital and know that I am helping. I ache for the adventure of visiting a never before reached tribe on a remote island and trying to assist the translators in understanding the complexities of this foreign language. Instead, I am stuck in a house in suburbia telling my 2 year old for the up-teenth time today that it is not wise to hurl his remote control car off the coffee table at his 18 month old sister. How is that a calling? Does anyone else see it, because these sinful eyes are blinded by the mundane?

I might be alone in this struggle, but I have a feeling there are others of you out there. Oh, how I hope there are more of you out there like me: sinful and in need of God’s grace! It feels wrong to say these things out loud. In a culture that doesn’t value children and values stay-at-home mothers less, it is easy to buy into the notion that my life is meaningless without another job, another calling, another thing that takes center stage. Whenever I read biographies about famous missionaries, I think, “What kind of impact am I having on the world around me when I can’t even make it to the grocery store without a meltdown?”

I guess I should back up a little bit to give this some background, hmm?

My whole life I wanted to be these 3 things (in no particular order): a missionary, a photographer and an actress. I have successfully accomplished the last two, but I can’t figure out how the first dream can be accomplished with a 2 and 1 year old in tow.  In college, my major was in missions, with hopes of fulfilling my first dream. That is what I studied to be, a full time missionary. Four years of preparing to impact the world through face-to-face interactions with those who didn’t have the privilege of purchasing a Bible at their local bookstore like I do. After college, I pursued acting professionally and had a couple of paid acting jobs, fulfilling that dream. Then my husband and I applied to be house parents for missionary children in Cameroon, Africa with Wycliffe Bible Translators. Then we got pregnant with our first and decided to stay in the states to have our first child. And you guessed it; we got pregnant again and have never left, but I did become a professional photographer, making that dream come true. I am happy with my life, but this little gnawing discontentment creeps up at times: the discontentment to see tangible ministry happening before my eyes.

Now you are caught up on my life, somewhat, so let’s continue on (can you tell I’m not a writer?)!

It all hit me tonight. I was listening to a Francis Chan sermon about rethinking what we call “radical.” A lot of things touched my heart as I listened, but what struck me the most was Francis’ strong desire to reach the poor. It reminded me of a desire I use to have before the monotony of changing 18 dirty diapers a day and picking up countless toys off the living room floor wore away my passion. I started to feel confused and disgruntled, almost as if my children were a nascence in comparison to helping the poor (I know that isn’t a rational thought, but our air conditioning has been out for 2 days, so I need a little grace!).

The Lord is so good, because the next article I read said this:

“Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.”


Did that just say I am living out the gospel by being a mom? That my children are my calling? My eyes filled with tears as I read those words. Wiping snot off my 18 month old's face can be a ministry, be it small. It blesses the heart of God to see me teach my children godly principles through living them daily. My mission field, for now, is on the floor in my living room day in and day out. It is my job to defend my innocent children in a corrupt world. I am called to cloth and feed the needy, and they can be found right in my dining room! This doesn’t excuse me from doing my part to be outward focused and help in the world around me, but all of this thinking helped me to gain some perspective about my discontentment.

There might never be a novel written about my missionary journeys into hostile lands, but for now, my work for the Lord is being the best mom I can be, with what I have, by His grace. I won’t be successful all the time, but I am going to plug at it one moment at a time until the Lord sees that I can handle something else. From this perspective of the frazzled mom, I hope they Lord knows I have my plate full! Hehehe!

“Lord, may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”  Amen.