NOT JUST A MOM is a series about finding the woman behind the mom. Often our identity as mothers is wrapped up in that title, but it is important for us to realize that first we are a person, then a spouse and then a parent. Finding what you enjoy outside of motherhood can recharge you to be the best wife, mother and housekeeper you can be. Read more in the series here.
That's what I call myself here on the blog and I find a great sense of identity in both titles. I'm a mom, but I am also an actress. They are not exclusive of one another, but two parts of the same person.
And that is what I want to help you find!
What makes you YOU, not just a mom? Being a mother is a very demanding thing and you are giving of yourself constantly. Don't you need something to refuel? Something to recharge so you are able to help those little people who call you mom become the people they are suppose to be?
It could be a job, a hobby, a new adventure, or a night out with your friends, but whatever it is we each need a time to let our hair down, breathe and just be ourselves. Here are your tips to start to find the woman behind the mom!
4 Tips to Find Your Non-Mom Identity
1. Write a list of your likes. I like monkeys, cheese plates, live theatre, Coldplay, the color purple, vintage jewelry, sunsets, black and white photography, and fair trade everything. No matter how silly the list may seem, be true to who you really are without any filtering. Wrack that frazzled mom-brain of yours, dig deep and think about what you, yourself, YOU like. I know you can do it!
2. Brainstorm what makes you feel alive. I feel alive when I am trying something new, singing before an audience, going to a new place, laughing with friends, and hiking in nature. Really think about those experiences in your life that exhilarate you. Craig and I call them "life-giving." Think back to actual instances from your past that just left you jazzed about living and put them on the list.
3. Try something new. You've made lists and now it is time to step out and do something! It could be inviting a friend to try a new restaurant or reconnecting with an old pastime you enjoyed in high school or pursuing those piano lessons you've always wanted. Whatever it is, start something outside of your kids that is just for you.
4. If that doesn't work, try something else! Don't give up on finding your niche. It will take time to find out who you are outside of motherhood. And don't worry! I'm not going to leave you all alone in this pursuit. Every Wednesday I'm going to be posting inspiration, tips and opportunities for you to get out there and regain some of your womanhood.
This seemingly selfish pursuit is not for selfishness sake. Being known by your first name and not just "Mom" helps to refuel you to be a better wife, mom, housekeeper and person. And isn't that what we want? This super cool role of being a mom is quite extraordinary, but if you are like me, you need a chance to be known as you.
Simply you.
7 comments:
I was a mom before I was a grown up, so it really is my whole identity. For the past 23 years, I've been mothering. And very little else. Sure I'd love to travel and explore and do fun stuff and be an interesting person. But with 8 kids at home, that's not going to happen any time soon.
Shecki, I would encourage you to find something (reading a book, crafting, volunteering, try a new local restaurant). It doesn't have to be a huge time investment, but just a little deposit into your bank so you have something to withdrawal to be the best wife, mom and homemaker you can be.
This is such a good way to put it - a n on-mum identity. I thinking starting off to recognise that you are a woman is a part of your identity - a woman who God made, a woman who loves God. These are identity statements - and they are foundational to being a godly mother. This is such an important message. Thank you for sharing how you work this out in your life.
sorry a typ there in my previous comment - it should read - I think starting off....
Good tips :) It's so sad when women let motherhood consume them. Yes, motherhood is incredibly important (and all-consuming at times), but that's not ALL that there is to life. And kids deserve a well-rounded mother (and to know that life doesn't revolve around them).
Livelifewithyourkids- I love how you phrased it: "a woman of God, made by God." What a great reminder to keep an eternal perspective!
Brittany- yes!!! Our kids learn how to establish healthy boundaries in all their relationships by the way we establish boundaries in ours.
Post a Comment