How I manage being a mother of 4

When Asher was only 9 months old and we found out we were pregnant again, it was a little overwhelming. But we mustered up the strength to parent two kids 17 months apart. After mastering what felt like two babies at once, we fell in love with having our kids close together. Two c-selections later, we explored other ways of growing our family.

So we decided to adopt. We were a little crazy when we decided to adopt 2 kids at the same time when our youngest was only 2 years old, but would you expect anything less? We fully acknowledge this reality, accept it and have moved on to deal with the chaos we created nearly two years ago.

In a lot of ways, we wouldn't change having a big family so close together and many days we look at each other ask, "What were we thinking?" BUT, they are all ours and just like when we only had two, we have pulled up our boot straps and gone to challenge yet rewarding task of raising these little guys.


And one book that helped make that transition possible was "A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family" by Mary Ostyn. Seriously! This little gem of a book had tons of nuggets of info that helped me figure out how to do life with four little bodies running around asking for help. If you are wanting to grow a larger family or are already there, I highly recommend snagging a copy!



I have discovered some tried and true methods that work for us to make the cogs of our family wheel function.


1. Color code everything. Every kids has a color. They have plates, cups, forks, tooth brushes and even toys in their color. Some large families even color-code towels, wash clothes, shoes and clothes. This takes the responsibly off of me to differentiate which is whose. The kids can look and see and choose for themselves, based on color. Also, in a bigger family, you can feel like nothing is really yours. This gives each child a sense of ownership.


2. Group the kids. We have the Bigs and the Littles. That is one grouping. We also have buddies: one Big paired with a Little. The first grouping is for bath time, bed time, who is allowed to go outside by themselves. It is based on independence and ability to function without the help of Mom. The second grouping is for walking in parking lots and one helping the other. I only have 2 hands, but grouping the kids by an older helping the younger to walk responsibility by cars and helping them put their shoes on allows me to focus on other things, like looking for cars backing up and gathering water cups for the park.


3. Every one pees before we leave. And we have a potty in the car. Bathroom trips are huge ordeals in a public place with four little people in tow. So, to make any outing less stressful, everyone must visit the rest room before they enter the car. And just in case someone needs to potty right after we have loaded all the groceries into the truck, there is no need to drag everyone back into Publix to visit the porcelain thrown. I have a training potty with a lid right on the van. This has saved me SO many times and I highly recommend it to everyone with more than one child!

4. We clean before we eat. Who wants a snack? Then go clean your room! No more battles about picking up toys. Every time food is served at the table, the kids are required to clean up whatever activity they were engaged in at the moment. That goes for us adults in the house as well. Before every meal time, we do a sweep of the house and tidy everything. And the other side of that is no one eats until everyone is at the table, so I've learned that hungry bellies make eager helpers. The kids all help each other to clean up the mess to get to the table faster.


Do you have suggestions? I'd love to hear about in on Facebook! Let's start a discussion over there about making it work with more than one kid.



p.s. Make family traditions, like a Father's Day Campout or visiting an aquarium.