That might sound strange coming from a woman who is trying to adopt two kids from Uganda, but there you have it. Adoption and me are not in agreement. I wish that we applied to adopt, and there were no kids available to match with our family. None. Not one. Truly. Honestly. That is how I feel. I wish there were no children in the world without parents.
Adoption is a necessary compromise to the way life is suppose to be.
It is suppose to be that parents take care of their children, in their own culture, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is not the story that is told all around the world on a daily basis. Some parents aren't able to take care of their children, for whatever reason. Some parents don't have proper nutrition or medical care, and their lives are lost, leaving their children to survive them. Some parents make mistakes and they have forever consequences that leave their children parent-less. Because of this, there are kids who need parents.
I'm against adoption, because it is not the original plan. It is not the ideal situation. I still love to believe that there is always the happy ending, even if the original plan doesn't work. I'm against adoption, because children not being raised by healthy, functional parents leaves scares. Big ones.
Some may think I am naive or foolish or prideful or irresponsible by adopting two children from Uganda, into my traditional middle class American family living on a teacher's salary. People can think what they want about me and my family. We are an open book and are happy to discuss our lives and choices with any who care to ask. We just know that our hearts and our home can hold two more. With so many children without parents, doesn't that deserve some consideration on our part? Is our convenience or comfort more important than children growing up alone?
We thought not and we said yes to the very thing we are against. Because we are more against children living without parents who love them than anything else.
{I'd love to hear your thoughts about adoption and how you are helping the parent-less.}
1 comment:
A friend passed your blog along to me, and I have so enjoyed reading it! I am going to watch No Impact Man soon and am always looking for ways to conserve, reduce, reuse, and recycle also. :-)
We have 7 children ages 4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. 5 biological and 2 adopted from Ethiopia 2 years ago. I must say, that while I was full of enthusiasm for orphan advocacy before adopting, that enveloping these 2 children into our family has been HARD, HARD, HARD. There are challenges I would have never expected. Never. It has made me ponder deeply the way I feel about adoption in general - especially internationally - taking children from their countries of origin and away from all birth relatives to give them a life 'full of opportunity' with an enitrely unfamiliar family. I have seen how difficult it has been for my adopted children to adapt. (They were ages 4 and 6) It's such a complex and tricky concept all the way around. I too am against adoption. Perhaps even more so than I was before I adopted because I have seen the struggle first hand of the families of my children who remain in Ethiopia, of our kids themselves, and of our newly integrated family. It is certainly not something to enter into lightly or without careful consideration. Adoptive parents must surely be as into parenting, day in and day out (kids with often intense issues) as they are about adoption. I wish you and yours well on your journey. :-)
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