Potty Training / / Turning normal parents into lunatics everywhere

The time had finally come. We needed to start potty training the Littles. They are technically artificial twins of a sort, since their birth days are only weeks apart, but in our home we've never treated them that way. Until potty training.

Andrew and Simon are turning 3 in just a couple of months and we were tired of spending over $100 every month on diapers, so we decided now was the time. This is year 6 of having kids in diapers for us. We are pretty done with this part of of the parenting process. After changing diapers for 2,194 days IN A ROW, it is safe to say that we are over it. Just typing that makes me want to spit. Who said parenting was a good idea? Wouldn't that be considered torture in another culture? Dealing with someone else's bodily functions for 2,194 days straight? I mean, where was my day off?!?!

With all of this motivation, we dived into potty training the Saturday before Craig went back to work. Not our brightest moment considering I would rather do ANYTHING ELSE than potty train and Craig is really the one who potty trained our first two kiddos. But we did it the Karissa-way and jumped in with both feet.

And this is where I have been for the last 9 days straight. Sitting in the living room. Asking about bodily functions, putting stickers on potty charts and wiping rear ends. All in the living room to make sure accidents don't happen on the carpet. This part of parenting is probably similar to house breaking a dog. I feel like the only things I think about are,

"When was the last time they had a drink?"

"Is it ok for them to play in their room on the carpet?"

"Do I feel brave enough to take the boys in public in underwear?"

Hence, this blog post and the insanity that is my current brain space.

Potty training one child is hard enough, but potty training 2 kids AT THE SAME TIME is pure craziness. What normal person, in their right mind would follow around another human being ready to wipe/catch/dispense of their waste? The terrifying thought of being in Target and having one Little poop in their underwear while the other leaves a trail of pee through the shoe department keeps me awake at night. The tension is building into stress headaches and the desire to start drinking martinis mid-morning to add glamor to my day.

Before anyone becomes too concerned for my sanity, remember sarcasm is a coping mechanism and I feel the need to use it liberally under times of duress. And truly and honestly, they are doing pretty great! Even though at church yesterday Craig and I looked like a circus act passing kids back and forth as they took turns using the bathroom during the singing, scripture reading, sermon and communion. One family has never made so many trips to the loo during an hour and half service. Despite a few accidents, I think we are on the road to being a diaper free family forever and ever, AMEN!

I promise sanity will return at some point to this fragile state of existence, but it's not today.

I'm too busy sanitizing my hands...