When Karissa asked me to write her something about finding my non-mom identity I was at a loss. I love photography, have a mildly unhealthy obsession with Doctor Who, and I really enjoy cuddling up with a good book. However, I couldn't think of that one thing that really stood out as my non-mom identity. That's when Karissa reminded me of the one thing that really sums up my non mom identity. I volunteer with a group for teen moms.
Every Wednesday night I drop my children off in child care and I walk into a room with 10-20 of the most amazing teen moms God ever made. I hold babies, laugh at jokes, listen to their drama, and love my girls. For two hours I am not anyone's mom. During those two hours all the mothering craziness I go through in a given week is valuable. I am able to help my girls to deal with issues like potty training, nursing, pregnancy, and much more. I am also able to help them move past some of the drama that seeks to steal their joy.
I wasn't always plugged in with teen moms. In fact, after my daughter was born I struggled with post-partum depression really bad. My husband worked insane hours and I was home alone with a colicky baby. She cried, I cried, and my life stunk, if I am being honest. As my daughter got older I became more and more absorbed into her world. Everything was about "R". She needed me. I began to really lose myself in motherhood. By the time she was one I was desperate for something that would tell me who I was again. I tried working for a season, acted in a few shows, and even hoped to start a drama team at my local church. None of this seemed to help.
Then someone told me about a new ministry that was starting for teen moms. To be honest, I wasn't interested. While I had a very broken past I was never a teen mom. After a very long internal struggle I decided it was time to join this ministry. For the first year I served the ministry by requesting donations. It wasn't a big job but it was something I could do from my home while still being mom. After a year, I found myself in love with helping these young moms. I stepped up to lead bible study. I wanted to show them that being a mom is amazing but before you were ever a mom you were a woman loved by a big God.
It has been seven years since I started working with teen moms. In that time I have watched many girls come closer to God, welcome new babies, finish school, get married, and become beautiful young women. In those seven years I have also learned what it means to love someone who doesn't earn it, stand for someone when no one else will, and pray without stopping. I have learned that I am strong willed, inpatient, and quick to get annoyed. I am also compassionate, encouraging, and loving. The biggest thing I learned though is that I have something to offer. I am not just a mom but being a mom gave me exactly what I needed to help my girls.
Thanks Meagan for sharing how volunteering with other moms gives you back a little of what makes you the woman you are. It was a joy to read and I am so thrilled you decided to share with The Acting Mom readers. You are an inspiration to me personally to look outside of my own day-to-day and see how I can serve others.
p.s. To find your own non-mom identity, start with these 4 easy steps.
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