Crying at everything = Crazy adoptive mom

We are still waiting for the official green light on two children from Uganda, but we do have some news. (If you want to know about that news, join our e-mail list.) So this waiting plus the little bit of news we have received is making me very anxious. One of the adoptive mom blogs I follow posted this morning about the adoption crazies she has and what the symptoms are. It was very humorous to read about another adoptive mom's experience because I find myself having some of those same symptoms. But as I was reading I realized that I don't have the adoption crazies, but I do have the adoption crying.

I am not much of a cry-er, except during that special time of month, which I claim no part in that emotional craziness that overtakes my body and tear ducts. When I was pregnant with both of my bio kids, I was also very weppy and again, I blame it on the hormones. But during my normal day to day life, I don't respond to things with tears. It just isn't my way, I guess. That being said, I am crying just about every day now! I cry when I see little clothes that family members have purchased for our adopted kids. I cry when a song comes on Pandora that talks about how God's timing is perfect. I cry when I read someone talking about their child walking or rolling over or saying their first word. I cry about anything and everything that reminds me that there are two little children across the world being held by a caregiver, but not their mother. Crying, crying, crying!

I am in a production of the show "Annie" right now and that is where the crying is just down-right embarrassing! While we were doing a read/sing through of the entire show last night, the little 11 year old playing Annie started singing the song "Maybe" and I lost it. The lyrics aren't remarkable, but the sentiment and back story of the two children I am adopting rings in my ears as this little lady sings about parents that might be out there for her. I was overcome with thoughts of what my children born to another woman will wonder about as they grow older. I'm sure they will wonder why she didn't want them or why she wasn't able to take care of them. I know they will feel a sense of loss that they aren't with their birth parents, and that breaks my heart. The loss that my adoptive children will deal with on a daily basis is heart breaking and brings me to tears often.


What was worse then crying over an over-done Broadway tune in the middle of a rehearsal that I am a part of was the fact that I couldn't leave AND I didn't have a tissue! This crazy crying adoptive mommy might not make it through this show about orphans in one piece.

And if you see me around town and I am sobbing, just know it isn't you and that the crying should finish up by the time all of my kids are in college.