My heart has always been in Africa. Ever since I was a little girl I was always intrigued with the safari, giraffes, the dark skin and white teeth of the continent of Africa. I may have also been swayed towards Africa because I had a pen pal from there, Lilian Njuguna from Kenya, Africa. A woman from my church had gone to Kenya as a missionary and connected some of the girls in the school she was teaching at to some of the kids at my church. It was exciting and exotic to receive post with beautifully colored stamps and Lilian's unique script. I wish I still had one of her letters, but I know they are long gone now. Writing to Lilian helped my 5th grade brain expand to understand that the world did not just include my little town. The world was much more vast and diverse then I could fathom.
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Craig and I would like more children. Even though some days are hard and our frustration is through the roof, we still want more kids. We've talked about the possibility of having more children ourselves, but after two emergency c-sections, the risk is greater to try for another child. A third c-section is a very risky procedure, so we have talked about the idea of having a home birth with a midwife attending the VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I have done a lot of reading and am well informed about the risks and the benefits, so know that we are not going to do anything rash or dangerous for me or a future baby. But our hesitions are these:- I HATE being pregnant!
- I am finally loosing the last of my baby fat, 2 years later.
- We are not sure we are alright with another c-section if the VBAC is unsuccessful.
- Our insurance doesn't cover pregnancy or birth.
- There are already kids here in central Florida that need parents.
- And I'm an actress! There aren't many parts for pregnant ladies!
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Me on the far right with the core group of students who lead the Invisible Children movement on campus. |
We all didn't speak for the day to promote the movie screening. |
Art work done by James Cernero, which was later turned into buttons that people purchased to support the Invisible Children. |
Our group with the actual Invisible Children team and their tour RV. |
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Today at the park, a mother was there with her two blond children and her two Ugandan children. Three of her kids were four years old and they all just warmed my heart. The little Ugandan boy kept saying to me, "Look at me! Are you looking? My mommy and daddy's names are mommy and daddy. We are eating pizza. Are you looking? Watch me!" My heart melted and I was charmed by his smile and warmth. His older sister gently told him to speak so that I could understand him instead of speaking Ugandan. I could understand him perfectly. He was speaking out of his exuberance for life and I was right there with him.
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Maybe all of these things are connected. There might be a reason I have always wanted to adopt, always felt drawn to Africa, and now have a heart for the people of Uganda. We aren't doing anything about these connections today, but within the school year we are making a decision about the size and by what means our family will go from four to possibly eight. We are putting our faith into action and trusting God to lead us. If you see that my status update says I am flying to Africa, I'm sure you can guess what I am doing! Until then, we will continue to pray and think and dream about our bigger family, while enjoying and loving the one we already have.
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