Having four kids, three of whom are preschoolers and three that are boys, we have applied this motto to our daily lives. People have often asked how we manage, why we spend so much time outdoors and how our kids can be so well behaved in public. The answer is: A good boy is a tired boy. We don't have it all figured out but I'll share a couple strategies that have made having four kids really close together more manageable.
1. Spend as much time outdoors as humanly possible. My kids spend hours outside every day for the majority of the year. The summer here is brutal, driving us inside and into a little madness, but weather permitting we are in the backyard, riding bikes, at a local park or hiking. Fresh air and the natural obstacles found outdoors allow the kids to use more of their muscles and energy than indoor play. They are jumping, running, climbing, shouting and I'm ok with it because it is outside and not in my 1,200 square foot home. Outside has no limit to how big or bold they can play, giving them the perfect stage to burn their God-given enthusiasm for life. This is a BIG key to our family's overall well-being and happiness.
2. Consequences are physical activities. When our kids make a bad choice, they receive a verbal chastisement then a physical activity. It takes on many forms in our home, such as running the perimeter of our backyard, squat thrusts, time-ins or jumping jacks. After they complete their laps or squat thrusts, they must apologize and make it right. Our philosophy is if they have enough energy to hit/snatch toys/sass talk, then they have enough energy to do jumping jacks. Kids at this age only understand logic and parental lectures to a point before their minds wander. We find it more effective to have a tangible consequence for wrong choices and bonus, it helps to burn energy.
3. Know your kids limits and don't push them past it. We know our kids don't do well in overly crowded places more than one day at a time (example: no 3 day trip to Disney for our family). We also know that they need an early bedtime or the next day the whining will be insurmountable. Because we know our kids, we know what they can handle and what they can't. I don't talk on the phone for more than 5 minutes unless Craig is home because I know a certain child will get into more trouble than I thought was humanly possible. Even though we could do a lot more things if we stretched what our kids were able to handle a little bit, we choose to honor them and where they are in this phase of life by respecting their limitations as 6, 4, and 2 year olds.
4. Consistent routines lead to secure kids. Routine is truly critical for kids. There are plenty of articles and books written on this subject so I won't delve in too deeply. The general idea is that consistency gives kids the feeling of safety so they can do the normal developing that they are suppose to do. For us, we kind of do the same thing every day around here. That leaves me, the creative-artistic one a little batty which is why I do theatre for sanity restoration, but the kids enjoy it because they know what to expect. They wake up, eat, play, homeschool, lunch, naps, outside time, Daddy's home, bike time, dinner, pool time, baths, sleep. We don't do this exact schedule every day, but pretty close. The predictability of their day allows them to explore, learn and develop new skills.
There you have! Barber Parenting 101 in a nutshell.
These parenting philosophies won't work for every family. I am not stating these as hard and fast rules to produce well-mannered children, but what is working for us. Craig and I find these help us to keep our cool and make sure we are doing our part to give the kids the tools they need to become the people they are suppose to become.
What are you parenting tips and strategies? I'd love to hear!
1 comment:
I never would have thought of some of these things. Thanks for sharing your mom wisdom. :)
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